a day in a week

Hey guys,

today's a Wednesday, currently sitting in for a visit as a support for any Murphy's law. Its the middle of the week and it feels like a month has gone by since the last weekend. I met up with my frens in the weekend, really enjoyed myself, has been some time since i went out with them and boy does it feel like the good old days.
Just heard recently that my dad has to go opt. his heart's main arteries seem to have a 70% blockage, which according to my soon-to-be docter sis its very dangerous. He has to go for the opt to 'balloon' the heart, if i did not get it wrong. I am worried without a doubt but is it wrong to feel this?(i hope that my dad learns a lesson from this, his chain-smoking habits, his rich eating habits and his generally unhealthy practices.) He seems to be stopping all of these bad habits for the mean time.....but as usual..i dun know how long this would last....hoping his vigilance in keeping healthy would last for as long as possible.
Death, the end of life....not exsisting, the next journey. The most unexplored 'area' that man has been unable to cover. Is that why ppl fear death? As we all know this saying all to well, "men fear what they do not know." theoretically that should be why people fear death, they know nuts about it, it makes perfect sense, whats to happen to me? where will i go? is it pain? will i forget everything that happened in my life? questions....a whole library full of them. Is people going into religion to not feel scared? to feel that something so much bigger then anything that they knew would take them into his bossom and protect them to save them. To have this personal peace of mind that would help glorify their current life? I personally dun have a religion, i wish i do sometimes but i just could not convince myself to have faith. Stubbornness?
I have this feeling that i would die young, some would say a pessimistic view but its really more a feeling then a view for me....just deep down in my gut, i have this feeling that i will go early, not some painful illness i hope. But when the time comes, i dun think i will be scared....at least thats wat i think now....i think there would be hint of excitement in me that i would hate to admit due to the fact that admitting would actually be rather ungrateful to those who does not want me to go.....or at least i hope there are actually ppl who do not want me to go hahaha just kidding....i know i am very loved.
I know the way i would want to go, i want to go smiling and my frens and love ones wishing me the best. Abit sad? i dun think so, i would feel proud, i Want to feel proud.
Ok enuff about death.....lets get back to life shall we?....the one thing that everyone does so well so naturally. the hard part now for me would be facing life without fear.....i guess everyone needs a little help here and there...i have found my help not in the form of religion but in the form or a few really wonderful people.

poolopingdays......means being clumsy like hell everyday but bouncing right back up after a fall.

the story so far.....

helo,
i know i said something about working hard for this year, haha....well i haven been doing that....still feeling abit 2005ish....i am currently a game addict, playing games everyday, and doing nothing about my work....hmmm, i know i should be ashame of myself.....but i cant help it....the game is too addictive...you know lazy ppl always has an excuse for not doing something they were meant to do..But! I am working on it....reading up during "work"(serving time protecting the country by designing powerpoint slides), a book on business of photography.
My plan for getting a weekend job in starbucks is more or less dashed, dun think they will take allow An NSF to work there without proper permission from my 'superiors'. And my 'superiors' wun allow me to work until i can prove that i am in dire need of the money, great isnt it, you have to prove that you are deep enuff in shit before they offer to pull you out.....care for soldiers aye....
hiazzz...i really getting sick of serving my time here......you get treated like dirt....everyday is a battle of avoiding 'arrows' and when you decide to stop avoiding....they would just pile loads on you cause it would be easier for them to ask you to do stuff, fighting a losing battle......
Maybe thing will look brighter when i get out of this system...migration maybe? never coming back.
i am trying to live by this term which i heard in a song..."dun worry be happy" sounds easy isnt it? well newsflash, it isnt!
hmmm...pissing blood here...
ignore me.....i'm just tired....real tired.

the work YR STARTS!

Helo everyone,

this is the Year 2006, there is Flying cars and robots doing work for us....at least that was pridicted by our child like imagination a few yrs back in the early 90's. "Please draw wat you think the yr 2000 would be like!"******* and there we go drawing out flying space pods(meant to be cars) Robots walking the dog, aliens from outerspace shopping on the street.
Welcome to the Year 2006, its 6 yrs after such 'andvancement' in technology. But sadly our cars still cant fly, robots are shaped like a dog with YOU have to walk and it requires you to ack like a fool in front of it before it reacts, but there are aliens .....i know a few, see them quite often, I call them my frens.
Looking back at 2005, i guess you can say it was an eventful yr for me. many things happen that i could not remeber but i can say that i changed alot the past year, the way i look at things, how i handle them, i mean, i am proud to say i been through alot the past yr, i have behaved badly quite a number of times, i have made some minor adjustments to my views in life and i have learn quite abit on how to think for others more then for myself. I realised the importance in education.....might be abit too late you might say, but i am glad its came late not never. I met some guys in my unit along the way that had a great influence on my plans for the future, and boy am i thankful for that. All in all, i have chged, not sure if its for the better but its safe to say i have grown a little as a person.
Now the year 2006, i have big plans for this year, HUGE! Its like a springboard to my life, how hard i am going to push myself this year would determine how far i can jump in future......at least that wat i feel. I hope i can keep to it, i hope i can have the determination to do wat i need to do.But this is where i can feel a little safe, cause as always my angel, munmun will always be behind me pushing me forward. She never fails to remind me of my goals in life, she never fails to make me want to work harder and she never fails to love me. Just like my family and frens. This year will be a fun year.