Been some time eh?
Well…a little update on what’s going on in my life. After some failed job application attempts at places I planned to work in before I ORD, I decided not to be so picky (that was desperation) and I was heavily in debt, to my friends, family and many more.
So now, I am in TCC all the way at The Pier, Mhd Sultan. Takes me almost 2 hours on bus to get there….beggars can’t be choosers I suppose. I dun earn much but I get by… the working hours are rather flexible and so are the working days.
I guess some people would be wondering what I am doing about the photography career that I so eagerly announced before everything, My Great Plan for the Future as it seemed.
Things changed, and I know a handful of people would be giggling about it and saying “I told you so….” And yes I know some people like that…I haven exactly given up on it, well….i can’t give up on what I have yet to start on. I just chose to take another longer path, to the path I would deem as my “fall back”.
The dreaded phrase “My fall back” I told myself once when I was a young rebellious kid with no responsibilities in life, I dun wan to be scared, I dun want to be as fearful of failing as my parents, I dun want to be afraid to try and I dun wan to become another guy that succumb to the pressures of society. Big words for a very small boy.
Well here I am now, applying for a degree in laselle so as to have a “Fall back” something I can earn a safe money with while pursuing photography. Getting a degree so that I can be more valuable to people who wants to hire.
Here I am becoming my parents.
Now the question I ask myself is, is that so bad? You know….to become like your parents, I grew up thinking how much different I wan to be how much more I want to be, and I just end up right back where they started.
I know most people around me are lost one way or another, some more then others. And yes, so am I if you haven deciphered my encrypted text above.
Don’t you wish sometimes that you had a mentor with you? Someone you totally agree with 100% of the time and have done things you always dreamed off? This mentor guides you, believes in you and just tells you how much more you can be? But sadly, most people are not blessed with such a person in their lives, they tread the road on their own just like everyone else, only a few. These lucky few are often blessed with their own form of success.
Which might also explain why so many people turn to religion for answers, I guess everyone needs some form of support and guidance.
For me, I am like you guys, on my own. I make decisions, gambles if you may on what I think is best for me, best for my future. And if it so happens that I am wrong, then its up to me, my pride and ego to try an pick myself up and to muster what courage I have to try again. If not, I hope my future generations will find a better way around this dilemma called life and what to do with it. The cycle continues.
Ps: sorry I am so melodramatic about this whole issue, just felt like it.
