Christmas is approaching; I did relatively well for my semester 1 of school, and my sis is coming home for Christmas. The more I think about Christmas the more I think about Kim, its been a few weeks since her passing, but I guess these feelings only come up cause it’s the ‘festive’ season, the bad always becomes worse and the good always becomes better, here I am playing Christmas songs, planning what to buy for Christmas’s presents and all I think can master is thinking of Kim. My family speaks of her once in a while, and it has been a habit for me to speak to her urn every morning when I wake up and at night before I sleep, giving her occasional kisses when I am leaving the house.
Just got to know that a course-mate of mine passed away recently in a freak accident that took 4 other lives along with his. I have friends who knew him well and they were all deeply saddened by the news. And I cant help but feel a sense of lost that just will not go away, I dun think it’s just for the 5 guys who passed away but for all that passed away in this year, this year of 2007. Munmun lost a grandmother and a close friend and I lost a family member, though some would say she was just a dog but she was my little sister. With all these that have happened, celebrating Christmas seems almost impossible. No matter how I try to go about my days, how I smile when I need to, how I laugh when I need to, there is still a hint of lost that aches so terribly sometimes that tears wells up. My parents have been nagging to throw away her bed that I kept under my own; in it I placed her towels, leash and shirt. I know they are asking to throw away cause they get sad too when they see the bed, but the thought of throwing away kim’s belongings kills me…. maybe in time.