responsibilities and how its affects choices
I am a little worried, ok let’s give a little background why I am worried, I am a person with very contradicting views and actions, a person with very fickle perceptions, a person who don’t really know when I am being what. I put the blame on my star sign (Gemini), but there are times when I would let myself admit that it’s just my character.
I have many sides to my personality and character, so many that it confuses me sometimes, my sister says it’s not because I have many versions of character but because I have none.
There is a choice that I have made, and that’s to follow a certain unwelcoming path. The path of professional photography. A job that doesn’t exactly bring you respect and money. I was talking to dear about turning your hobby into a job, the crux of the topic was mainly leaning towards how bad it was. There is an idealistic part of me that feels all will turn out well and I am making the right choice. I always pride myself in being or at least trying to be different from everyone else, to take a path not ridden. But lately, I am feeling a lot of insecurities, which I am sure many people going into the same line would feel. Would I be much happier just finding a job and making a reasonable amount of money to slowly build my family up? When I was younger (younger meaning 1 year ago, in poly, NS changed my thinking quite abit, you can say I grew up not for the better I feel.) I did not feel any responsibilities whatsoever; I did what I want when I want how I want. I was free in every essence of the word, and now that I start to feel the many responsibilities coming from all direction, I feel myself doubting the choice I am making. It’s not the responsibilities that I detest; it’s my inability to handle them.
My parents are both retired; my sister will be studying for another 3 years. There will not be any income coming in for the next 3 years and what can I do to help? When I ORD, do I immediately try to chase my dream or do I take on a job to at least help out until my sister graduates? Will life be better for everyone if I just take up a normal job like everyone else?
I want to have kids in future, would love to have my own juniors and princesses, but can I actually earn enough while I am young to afford having kids before I am too old (old meaning 30 and above) Will photography provide an income for me to give the best life to my kids? Many would say that I am over worrying, and I agree, I tend to do that to myself, but the thought of regretting my decision in future would be too big a blow for me.
How does anyone make these life authoring decisions? Or do they even have to? Do people even bother about these things? Some people seem to have a seamless transition from studies to work; they did not even need to think so hard about it.
I know making a decision now does not mean that I have to stick with it for the rest of my life, its just that I cannot imagine myself failing in photography, failing to do well, failing in something that I love is excruciating, I can almost imagine.
I guess there will never be an answer to this riddle in life, the ‘what ifs’. I love photography; I wish that was the answer to all my problems.
As for the problem of hobby to job, its was neither both when i started out.
I have many sides to my personality and character, so many that it confuses me sometimes, my sister says it’s not because I have many versions of character but because I have none.
There is a choice that I have made, and that’s to follow a certain unwelcoming path. The path of professional photography. A job that doesn’t exactly bring you respect and money. I was talking to dear about turning your hobby into a job, the crux of the topic was mainly leaning towards how bad it was. There is an idealistic part of me that feels all will turn out well and I am making the right choice. I always pride myself in being or at least trying to be different from everyone else, to take a path not ridden. But lately, I am feeling a lot of insecurities, which I am sure many people going into the same line would feel. Would I be much happier just finding a job and making a reasonable amount of money to slowly build my family up? When I was younger (younger meaning 1 year ago, in poly, NS changed my thinking quite abit, you can say I grew up not for the better I feel.) I did not feel any responsibilities whatsoever; I did what I want when I want how I want. I was free in every essence of the word, and now that I start to feel the many responsibilities coming from all direction, I feel myself doubting the choice I am making. It’s not the responsibilities that I detest; it’s my inability to handle them.
My parents are both retired; my sister will be studying for another 3 years. There will not be any income coming in for the next 3 years and what can I do to help? When I ORD, do I immediately try to chase my dream or do I take on a job to at least help out until my sister graduates? Will life be better for everyone if I just take up a normal job like everyone else?
I want to have kids in future, would love to have my own juniors and princesses, but can I actually earn enough while I am young to afford having kids before I am too old (old meaning 30 and above) Will photography provide an income for me to give the best life to my kids? Many would say that I am over worrying, and I agree, I tend to do that to myself, but the thought of regretting my decision in future would be too big a blow for me.
How does anyone make these life authoring decisions? Or do they even have to? Do people even bother about these things? Some people seem to have a seamless transition from studies to work; they did not even need to think so hard about it.
I know making a decision now does not mean that I have to stick with it for the rest of my life, its just that I cannot imagine myself failing in photography, failing to do well, failing in something that I love is excruciating, I can almost imagine.
I guess there will never be an answer to this riddle in life, the ‘what ifs’. I love photography; I wish that was the answer to all my problems.
As for the problem of hobby to job, its was neither both when i started out.
posted by guo wen at 2:49 PM
2 Comments:
If your parents have sufficient savings to last these 3 yrs, u should do wat u have always wanted, photography.
oh man. its like, 3.38am here. and i'm like, arghhhhh i'm so gonna screw up my future if i don't make the right decision now abt my career. and i thought alrigggghhtt, i'm the only one who'll tear my scalp bare worrying abt flunking.
then i spoke to friends and find out, oh, everyone's like that. and then kaboom, i read yr blog entry. then i dun feel so bad.
oh btw, hallo!
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