smaller man

Here I am again. Sitting in a small rectangular room, suffocated of ideas, inspirations and anything that could help lift my spirit. I am questioning my ability to stay strong and focus when going through a rough patch. I read in some book somewhere that staying happy and cheerful helps a photographer or any other creative professional to be properly inspired, to be at the top of his game. I guess that only means that I have just hit rock bottom. I dun think of anything else but the 240 more days to go….I cannot think of anything but the time that passes ever so slowly….I try so hard to occupy myself with books on photography….surround myself with things that I so love, but I just cannot seem to clear my mind of how trapped I feel. I feel drained of all energy and spirit, ideas, enthusiasm, smiles and dreams. How can a year and a half do so much to me… How does everyone else handle it? I am pretty sure they are going through the exact same thing as me, maybe in different forms of torture but same magnitude I presume. What is different about me? Is it my inability to think on the brighter side of things? Is it my inability to tolerate any hardship?
Or is it just because I am a smaller man then everyone else?

guowen