monday
Monday blues......180 more days to go...not been thinking of much recently except these numbers. Trying to recall how I made it through the 593 days before this...officially I have 6 months and 14 days more to my temporary freedom before re-service....
6 more months.....how much things can a person do in 6 months, a lot I guess, half a year.....I never appreciated time until now..
Everyday, the many glances at the slow clock, counting the down the hours, the striking away of the dates on my calendar.... no matter how I look at it....I cannot see how national service has done any good for me or for the country... I cannot be proud of a country that put her people through such experiences; perhaps it is truly beneficial to some people but not to all. It’s only after I entered the national service that I start to see the flaws within the whole organization, flaws so evident in every aspect of the system that every men and women in it acknowledges but do nothing about. It is during this time that I question, never had I bothered with such matters, political, social and an existence of a clear conscience.
In the period of these 593 days, I have done more things that I am not proud of than I have done in my whole life before this... values that stay constant, through though times, that’s what I always thought differentiate man from boys, not their look or size or physic but their actions. And I have just proven myself to be a boy, I buckled....
6 more months.....how much things can a person do in 6 months, a lot I guess, half a year.....I never appreciated time until now..
Everyday, the many glances at the slow clock, counting the down the hours, the striking away of the dates on my calendar.... no matter how I look at it....I cannot see how national service has done any good for me or for the country... I cannot be proud of a country that put her people through such experiences; perhaps it is truly beneficial to some people but not to all. It’s only after I entered the national service that I start to see the flaws within the whole organization, flaws so evident in every aspect of the system that every men and women in it acknowledges but do nothing about. It is during this time that I question, never had I bothered with such matters, political, social and an existence of a clear conscience.
In the period of these 593 days, I have done more things that I am not proud of than I have done in my whole life before this... values that stay constant, through though times, that’s what I always thought differentiate man from boys, not their look or size or physic but their actions. And I have just proven myself to be a boy, I buckled....
posted by guo wen at 3:27 PM
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